Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm back...

It's been a long time since I've posted here. Life has taken me down some rather strange roads since May of 2009. I've made new friends, started a full time job, spent 8 months being separated from my husband, lost myself in a depression that lasted way longer than I thought, witnessed tragedies that rip families apart, experienced things I never anticipated. I was lost for a while...I'm working my way back to me. I'm still homeschooling the kids, although it is very challenging now that I'm working. I've learned that #3 likely has Asperger's Syndrome, and have waited many months for a proper evaluation and diagnosis. In a few weeks we will finally get that (hopefully).
All in all, this has been the most challenging time of my life. I read through all my posts here the other day, astounded at the happiness this woman in Mommyville seemed to be so full of. Where did she go? What happened to that joy? Was it real? I don't know. I just know I was a better mom back then, and I'm sure a better wife. I was also pretty self-deluded. So here I am, more aware of who I am. I'm finding my way back to happiness and joy. But I'm making sure I take myself along for the ride this time. I'm not sitting on the porch watching everyone else live their dreams. I'm defining my own dreams, and making them happen.

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